Manliness is: resilience.
A principle against a victim mentality.
In my boyhood years, whenever I was told to "be a man" or "man up," it's because I was acting like a victim.
Was I a victim at those times?
Occasionally.
But what benefit was I creating by acting like a victim?
None.
Usually, in those instances, I was whining, instead of trying to create a solution. I was complaining that something was unfair rather than try to rise up to the required level of play.
Now, if there are injustices or unfair play, and we find ourselves in a position to level the field for others, should we?
That's a tricky question; I'll answer it with another one. Do I want myself (or for that matter, my children) to occasionally face unfair disadvantages in life? Are those instances beneficial?
Oprah, Walt Disney, John Paul DeJoria, Andrew Carnegie. They all suffered extreme hardship early on, but they overcame. And because they were able to overcome, they are stronger (one could argue, more successful) than they would have been without those hardships.
Strength is gained in the testing of it. Muscles grow and become stronger under stress, if they are repeatedly exerted against it. And if the stress increases, so will the muscles ability to overcome the stress. Those who continue to exert effort and energy become the strongest. This is intentional growth - brought about (usually) by our choice to work out. Or because we have accepted a job in manual labor. Either way, continued work against continued difficulty is what builds resilience and strength. It is the same with our willpower. You could tell your personal trainer (ha, I've never had one), "This is too hard. You're making this so hard for me. Why are you being so hard on me?" this is the victim mentality. The resilient (and wise) mind is grateful for the opportunity for growth.
Now, I don't think we should intentionally give extreme hardship to people, because they may not have the resilience built to withstand, and many people who suffer hardships never recover. (hopefully your personal trainer knows what your limits should be). But what we should do is provide encouragement to rise up in the face of hardships. Those who wallow in victimhood do not recover. Even if they are given a hand up, if they continually think of themselves as victims, they will not rise up.
So teach our boys to be men, and teach them not to be victims. If they suffer hardship, encourage them to overcome. And if you find yourself in a place of complaining and feeling like the victim, stop it. Get strong. Man up. Be thankful for the opportunity to grow. You'll be a better man for it.
A principle against a victim mentality.
In my boyhood years, whenever I was told to "be a man" or "man up," it's because I was acting like a victim.
Was I a victim at those times?
Occasionally.
But what benefit was I creating by acting like a victim?
None.
Usually, in those instances, I was whining, instead of trying to create a solution. I was complaining that something was unfair rather than try to rise up to the required level of play.
Now, if there are injustices or unfair play, and we find ourselves in a position to level the field for others, should we?
That's a tricky question; I'll answer it with another one. Do I want myself (or for that matter, my children) to occasionally face unfair disadvantages in life? Are those instances beneficial?
Oprah, Walt Disney, John Paul DeJoria, Andrew Carnegie. They all suffered extreme hardship early on, but they overcame. And because they were able to overcome, they are stronger (one could argue, more successful) than they would have been without those hardships.
Strength is gained in the testing of it. Muscles grow and become stronger under stress, if they are repeatedly exerted against it. And if the stress increases, so will the muscles ability to overcome the stress. Those who continue to exert effort and energy become the strongest. This is intentional growth - brought about (usually) by our choice to work out. Or because we have accepted a job in manual labor. Either way, continued work against continued difficulty is what builds resilience and strength. It is the same with our willpower. You could tell your personal trainer (ha, I've never had one), "This is too hard. You're making this so hard for me. Why are you being so hard on me?" this is the victim mentality. The resilient (and wise) mind is grateful for the opportunity for growth.
Now, I don't think we should intentionally give extreme hardship to people, because they may not have the resilience built to withstand, and many people who suffer hardships never recover. (hopefully your personal trainer knows what your limits should be). But what we should do is provide encouragement to rise up in the face of hardships. Those who wallow in victimhood do not recover. Even if they are given a hand up, if they continually think of themselves as victims, they will not rise up.
So teach our boys to be men, and teach them not to be victims. If they suffer hardship, encourage them to overcome. And if you find yourself in a place of complaining and feeling like the victim, stop it. Get strong. Man up. Be thankful for the opportunity to grow. You'll be a better man for it.